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It's a shorter trip to the bottom from here. It's not quite the middle, but I definitely feel the pressure from both sides. I'll do something about the fall when I figure out exactly what the problem is. For now I'll just float here...in limbo.

Waiting has become too much to bare. The hours are melting into each other and there doesn't seem to be much light. My days have taken a pale hue that make sand and fog seem pleasant by comparison. When I squint my eyes to shut out the pain I can't see anything but the next question. I'd like to see answers again. It hasn't been so long that I forgot what the answers looked like.

-JF

The Next Time

I don't want to find another way to make it through the day without you.

Why can't we stay together? Love finds a way to bring us into its arms. The burn of your soft touch wanes, and then you are suddenly gone. I don't try to understand how it works, how two people can find each other through the din of sadness and clutter. But we did, and now all I can think about is how to make it to the next time.

The next time my hands will hold you. The next time my mouth will breath into yours. The next time my arms will wrap around your waist. The next time your tongue will touch my ear. The next time I will hear you say "Yes."

I'm not that strong.

-JF