Shark Week

It's May now and my quest for the desert has stalled, yet again. This time it's company B and the Eqip process. My security clearance was given an "Interim Declination." Doesn't that just have a nice bureaucratic eloquence to it? It means something in my Eqip raised a red flag on the State Dept's computer and now a human has to get involved. They say I will get a phone call in 30 -90 days! Sweet Jesus...3 more months of waiting!? Next month is June and will mark 1 year ago that I applied to go back overseas. One whole freaking year has gone by!

Personally, I have been swimming in more shallow waters lately. I met a nice woman who isn't married and actually seems to like me. She's all the things I could ever want in a woman, seemingly. Which is exactly why I'm suspicious! That's sick and demented, I know. It's beyond bad that I fully expect to screw it up or shove her out of my life the moment my fears or demons come out to play. Maybe I should take a pill or see a shrink about that nasty little habit of mine? Yeah, maybe I should, but I won't. Who am I kidding...the fish swimming around in my end of the pool are beautifully plentiful. But I don't swim with them, I eat them. I am a shark and only know how to do one thing...I kill everything in my path. Kill it dead.

-JF