Skewered

OK, July is half over. It's the 15th and my race for an acceptable BMI is mother effing close!! I've lost 12 pounds so far and have been doing really well on my diet and torture...er, uh...I mean exercise plan. I've been to the gym 6 out of every 7 days since I came back, and the Atkins thing is still working although it's slowed down a bit this week. I think they call it a plateau...my weight loss is plateauing. How queer does that sound? I guess my Man Card doesn't matter right now because I am going for broke here. So in ten days I will contact my recruiter and see where to go from there.

I'm still staying with Lori but it's not getting any easier. To say whatever "relationship" we have is straining is an understatement. We are totally different people with polar opposite approaches to life. She'd say otherwise, but that's one of the things that makes us so different...I see two sides to every story and she only see the rainbow colored side. Someday you're going to read this Lori and know what I mean, and I'm sorry for spelling it out here for the world to see. But the way things are right now as I write this, I can't do it any other way.

I am looking for a different way to live out the next few weeks. I have compromised my beliefs and my morals out of a skewed sense of necessity. (I can convince myself of anything once I set my mind to it.) I'm hurting people as I go along and I can't brush it aside any longer. This just isn't who I am. I'm sorry.

I miss the Red Letters, very much.

-JF